‘Mericuh

‘Mericuhhh Credit: The Chive

As a Kansan, smack dab in the middle of this fine ol’ country, you’d probably expect me to run around shooting Gays while eating Mcdonalds  and sporting nothing but an American Flag as a dress. While I’m sure that would be a dream come true for some redneck assholes, I tend to sway a little more to the left. That’s not really what this post is about though, so let’s backtrack a bit.

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No Speaka da English?

In a previous post I mentioned the movie Idiocracy and how scarily prophetic I found it to be. The following is the narrative of the English languages deterioration;

“Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.”

In today’s rant it’s all about the wonderful English language, and how we’re sodomizing the shit out of it. We’re not quite at Idiocracy levels yet, but as with all things it’s only a matter of time.

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To the Twitter Machine

I don’t have a twitter account.

There, I said it. It makes me feel like an out-of-touch old timer to say this but I just don’t understand the appeal. Why would I ever want to use a service that allows me to tell the entire world the first thing that pops into my head and any given moment? It’s 2am, I’ve been drinking, and suddenly I want the entire world to know of my secret long-standing love affair with Sailor Moon because that sounds like a fantastic idea. No thank you, Twitter Machine, we both know how that would end.

While I may not understand the appeal of having one myself, a very large portion of the general populace does. So What happens when you give millions of individuals a platform for their thoughts? A whole lot of WTF. 

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Herp-a-Derp

 

Herp Derp:  An expression used when a person, or yourself, has done somthing extremely stupid and dopey

Person 1: Dude, I just hit my head on the door.
Person 2: HERP DERP.

Idiocracy.  By far the most underrated movie. If you have not seen it, go see it now. I’ll wait.

So, it’s great, right? Now, was it just me, or did you also come to the slow, horrific realization that this movie is more like a prophecy than it is a tongue-in-cheek form of entertainment? You might say that’s silly, that there is no way people could sit around eating tubs of butter while watching someone get hit repeatedly in the balls. Oh how very wrong you are.

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