“Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.”
In today’s rant it’s all about the wonderful English language, and how we’re sodomizing the shit out of it. We’re not quite at Idiocracy levels yet, but as with all things it’s only a matter of time.
If you’re reading this I have to assume you’re pretty internet savvy and are aware of internet speak. In truth the world wide web has developed its own language over the years, most of it pandering to the laziness of its users. It started somewhere around acronyms like “lol” and has progressed to being unable to distinguish the difference in meaning between words like “you’re” and “your”.
Peruse sites like Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo Answers, or various messaging boards and you’ll be amazed and how many people seem to have given up on spelling or grammar completely, with sentences like:
Wut r u meaning I not stoopid your stoopid u jerk.
So much is wrong with that sentence, I’m not even sure where to start. First, I hate it when people use single letters in place of the whole word. “U” and “R” may be easier than typing out “You” and “Are” but it just makes you look like a lazy asshole. The blatant misspelling of “what” and “stupid” is another indicator of laziness, as is not using the appropriate context of ‘you’re’. I could go on, but I’m sure you get the general idea.
Even in texting, rather than using “LOL” to say “Yes good sir, I found what you just said to be entertaining”, I say “Hahaha” or “Bahahaha”, depending on my mood and how mischievous my laugh is. Sometimes I’ll even throw in a “Muahahaha” to portray that I am currently being my alter-ego, Evil Lex.
I understand that not everyone is going to take the time to be a star linguist such as myself but come on people, try a little.
Also, watch this guy, he’s from here in KC. Warning, there is strong language.