To the Twitter Machine

I don’t have a twitter account.

There, I said it. It makes me feel like an out-of-touch old timer to say this but I just don’t understand the appeal. Why would I ever want to use a service that allows me to tell the entire world the first thing that pops into my head and any given moment? It’s 2am, I’ve been drinking, and suddenly I want the entire world to know of my secret long-standing love affair with Sailor Moon because that sounds like a fantastic idea. No thank you, Twitter Machine, we both know how that would end.

While I may not understand the appeal of having one myself, a very large portion of the general populace does. So What happens when you give millions of individuals a platform for their thoughts? A whole lot of WTF. 

After seeing a post on Jezebel, about women of twitter saying they found James Holmes attractive, I became inspired. Could people really be posting such idiotic things on such a public forum? Why yes, yes they could be. Thanks to the internet we have become a society that ‘posts first’ and thinks second.

So, today I present the first Wendesday WTF. I took to Twitter and searched Does it make me a bad person in the hopes of finding the ridiculous musings of the twitter hive-mind. Here are the top ten, and my thoughts:

Have you seen that South Park Episode? It sends shivers of disgust down my spine just to think about it.

Yeah no, of course not, who needs fidelity? Pft, what are marriage vows anyway?

No words.

It’s called developing a sense of empathy, Dick.

Yes because seeing a poorly written TV series is among the standards for being a good person.

At least she takes responsibility?

It definitely makes you a douche-bag.

Please don’t reproduce.

Good thing for her the wish fairy doesn’t grant the wishes of psychopathic tweens. I never did get the pony I wanted.

No, but your lack of punctuation/grammar does.

So readers, please tell me what you think of this idea. Would you be interested to see more? Are there particular topics you want me to find the buzz on? Do you have any tweets you’ve come across that made you go WTF? Feedback is much appreciated!


18 thoughts on “To the Twitter Machine

  1. One of my favorite things about twitter is getting technical support. It’s almost always faster to find out if there are internet outtages or something like that by searching twitter, than by calling the ISPs.

    I have also been known to go to twitter and say things like “Having problems with Symantec Backup Exec. Ugh!” and gotten nearly immediate responses from support techs…

    But most of the time it’s kids swearing and acting tough cause there’s no accountability for what’s said.

    • Exactly! Which is crazy to me, because if I had kids I would be monitoring that kind of thing. I mean, not to be overbearing or crazy, but just to make sure that my kid wasn’t turning into a raging idiot/douche-bag. Especially that one about the kid wishing some lady would get stabbed in the face?! Redflag!

  2. Lol! I’d have agreed with you entirely until about a week ago. I hated Twitter, hated the idea of Twitter (and still can’t stand the word) but then joined it myself. Yeah, there’s a lot of crap there. There’s also some interesting stuff, for instance, I’ve seen some good Haiku and short poems posted – that can be done well in 140 characters. News, also, comes across succinctly in a short form.

  3. I hate the idea of sites like Facebook and Twitter. If you want to talk to your friends, it should be to their faces. If they’ve moved away and you want to keep in contact, use an email. I feel that some of the people who use sites like Twitter may become enslaved to them in a sense. They feel obliged to write about their lives on it and it becomes a time consuming responsibility. There are some benefits to it however, such as advertising or setting up flash mobs, but currently I’m not a fan of these sites. You’ve written a very insightful, informative post. Well done! 🙂

  4. Totally see your point. No Facebook or Twitter shall come in contact with these fingers. I haven’t got the impulse control needed to save me from myself. Wish I could say the same for so many others. Is it really all that helpful for the rest of us to know just how excrutiatingly bored you are right at this moment? No. No it isn’t. Kaukab’s daughter

  5. Okay, I love Twitter. I will say, though, that some people get on there and it’s like, “Why?” Twitter is good for three things: 1) saying funny/interesting things, 2) having conversations with sound-minded people about substantial topics, and 3) sharing and reading interesting links people post about things you’re interested in. For instance, I love to write; I follow a lot of writers and people in the industry; they post lots of helpful, interesting links; I read them; I sometimes share them and save them to my Instapaper account for future reference if they’re really good articles. Unfortunately, people do not always use Twitter successfully in this way. Therefore, I understand your feeling about it. But what I do is just unfollow all of the high school crowd when they prove to be less than satisfactory Tweeters. If you follow the right people, Twitter has potential to be way more than your average Facebook news feed.

  6. Pingback: WWTF: Don’t You Just Hate | Lies Our Parents Told Us

  7. Pingback: WWTF: 10 Things I Get A Lot | Lies Our Parents Told Us

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