No Speaka da English?

In a previous post I mentioned the movie Idiocracy and how scarily prophetic I found it to be. The following is the narrative of the English languages deterioration;

“Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.”

In today’s rant it’s all about the wonderful English language, and how we’re sodomizing the shit out of it. We’re not quite at Idiocracy levels yet, but as with all things it’s only a matter of time.

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Todd Akin.

In the beginning, God made man and woman in His image, this we know. What we didn’t know is that God also imparted Eve with a magical vagina. Did you know that 99.9% of women were unaware of the magical abilities their vagina possesses? It’s our lucky day, ladies; Todd Akin has kindly cleared things up for us. If you thought the G-spot was too amazing to fathom, just wait until you hear what he found out!

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‘Mericuh

‘Mericuhhh Credit: The Chive

As a Kansan, smack dab in the middle of this fine ol’ country, you’d probably expect me to run around shooting Gays while eating Mcdonalds  and sporting nothing but an American Flag as a dress. While I’m sure that would be a dream come true for some redneck assholes, I tend to sway a little more to the left. That’s not really what this post is about though, so let’s backtrack a bit.

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Becoming A.D.D. Positive

 

Aside from the obvious, which is to be generally awesome , there are many things that the commercials don’t tell you about living with Attention Deficit Disorder. Although I do believe it is extremely over-diagnosed, there are people like me who become almost non-functioning without their meds. I hope to enlighten people of what it’s really like; the things I struggle with, the perks of medication, and the pitfalls of being constantly medicated.

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I am Unworthy

Dearest WordPress Community,

Oh. My. God. I thought I had a general idea of what being freshly-pressed would mean. I had daydreamed of watching my stats steadily rise while listening to Queens “We are the Champions”. In my wildest dreams I couldn’t have anticipated what you all have given me. I am utterly flabbergasted.

I have only just recently really decided to give my life-long dream of being a writer a go. Honestly, up until a week ago, no one in my family even knew that I blogged. This week has been an amazing and encouraging journey that I have each and every single one of you to thank for.

Seriously, from the bottom of my jaded, ranty, snarky little heart. I love you all.

- Lex