In a previous post I mentioned the movie Idiocracy and how scarily prophetic I found it to be. The following is the narrative of the English languages deterioration;
“Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.”
In today’s rant it’s all about the wonderful English language, and how we’re sodomizing the shit out of it. We’re not quite at Idiocracy levels yet, but as with all things it’s only a matter of time.
I’ve found myself lacking inspiration in the past few weeks, feeling an overwhelming sense of apathy in regards to my blog. I am sorry to have let you all down and I feel I should assure you of my thankfulness for your patience and loyalty. On a brighter note, I have found my muse for today; leave it to Todd Akin to reignite my snarky fury.
Are you ready? Are you excited? Are you pumped?! YEAH?! Lets do this thing!
My dearest, faithful, beautiful readers,
I am so sorry for abandoning my blog. It’s been an eventful month full of excuse after excuse preventing me from updating. Let’s remedy that, shall we?
I am writing to you now at the ripe old age of 23. It’s strange how much can change in a month, I almost feel as if it’s been a year. I’m older; I’m doing very adulty-type things like searching for a new car and considering APR and full-coverage insurance. I’m busier; with two co-workers on maternity leave our office has become a surprising hive of efficiency.Not to mention that I’m considering getting a second job part-time to save up for a hefty down-payment.
Fret not, though! I have vowed to continue the WWTF and other various snarky spewings and to stop making excuses for my neglect. I’ve missed you all entirely too much. I hope you’ve missed me too. Will you forgive me? Pretty please?
In the beginning, God made man and woman in His image, this we know. What we didn’t know is that God also imparted Eve with a magical vagina. Did you know that 99.9% of women were unaware of the magical abilities their vagina possesses? It’s our lucky day, ladies; Todd Akin has kindly cleared things up for us. If you thought the G-spot was too amazing to fathom, just wait until you hear what he found out!
As always I have scoured the Twitter Machine for the most ‘wtf?” tweets I can find in order to present them to you fine folks.
Random post of something awesome, cause I can.
‘Mericuhhh Credit: The Chive
As a Kansan, smack dab in the middle of this fine ol’ country, you’d probably expect me to run around shooting Gays while eating Mcdonalds and sporting nothing but an American Flag as a dress. While I’m sure that would be a dream come true for some redneck assholes, I tend to sway a little more to the left. That’s not really what this post is about though, so let’s backtrack a bit.
Finishing up from yesterday after the jump.